I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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