did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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