The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
