RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
