i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
