This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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