In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
