I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
