is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
