escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
