is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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