You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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