Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
