I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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