Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
