i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
