You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
