But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
