BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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