The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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