oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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