just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
