Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
