My first STD was from a foam party
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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