last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
