So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
