Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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