tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
