Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
