we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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