We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
whose parrot is this?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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