It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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