my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
