they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
