I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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