hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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