I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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