I showed him my bush... on skype.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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