When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
