Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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