Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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