I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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