At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It was confusing and full of hummus
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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