Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
