I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
