i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
