So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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