and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I want to fling myself into the sun
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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