If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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