There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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