I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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