Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
