Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
