Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
