Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
